Faith Builder
I am so thankful! Your prayers are such a help. I was enabled by the Lord to share my heart in a Sunday School class - "Faith Builders". Indeed the experience was just that to me - a real faith builder - because God was so near to me during the fifteen minute talk. I didn't choke up until the last sentence. The sweetest folks - some I knew and some I just met - were such an encouragement afterwards.
I admit there was a lot of tension in my mind about accepting the invitation to speak about Jody like this. "Is this for You, Lord - or for me?" My prayer is that God would use what I share in any context to encourage others - especially those who are facing similar trials. In the end, I believe it was both. By sharing some of what I am learning through this with the men of Faith Builders, I met some that were genuinely helped by the Lord. Simultaneously, by preparing to share about Jody, I had such a sweet "communion" with her. It was a tearful, painful preparation, but I enjoyed the warmth of meditating about her in this special way. Thank you, my exalted Savior, for blessing me even with Jody's memory.
I've given up hope that my heart will grow stronger as time marches on. It only gets weaker and more lovesick. I realize where this is going. It's going to hurt more and more, deeper and deeper for a very long time. I am still paralyzed in the house and can't bear to move any of her things. I hate the idea of living in a type of shrine - but I just can't avoid it yet. I am trying my best to do normal things but they are empty. So, I revert back to what I know is true about God, and He meets me in those thoughts. I love the Lord. Be sure to thank Him for your next breath, for your next righteous thought, for the light of His Word, for the Spirit that comforts and teaches, and for the Lamb that was slain that you might not experience Hell, but instead an everlasting, face to face, holy, purposeful, glorious existence in His Kingdom! After all, He may return tonight! Come quickly Lord!
Rev. 22:1-8 Then he showed me a river of the water of life, clear as crystal, coming from the throne of God and of the Lamb, in the middle of its street. On either side of the river was the tree of life, bearing twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit every month; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. There will no longer be any curse; and the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and His bond-servants will serve Him; they will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads. And there will no longer be any night; and they will not have need of the light of a lamp nor the light of the sun, because the Lord God will illumine them; and they will reign forever and ever. And he said to me, "These words are faithful and true"; and the Lord, the God of the spirits of the prophets, sent His angel to show to His bond-servants the things which must soon take place. "And behold, I am coming quickly. Blessed is he who heeds the words of the prophecy of this book." I, John, am the one who heard and saw these things. And when I heard and saw, I fell down to worship at the feet of the angel who showed me these things.
posted by Scott F. @ 1:13 AM
8 Comments:
Dear Scott,
Thank you for spending your morning with us in FaithBuilders, and for speaking to us from the heart about your life and your love (the Lord and Jody). He truly blessed the both of you with a wonderful marriage; and just think when you get to heaven even that wonderful marriage will pale. Imagine all our mourning will be changed into singing and dancing the praises of our Mighty God. Try to imagine, all that heaviness you feel in your heart being the diametric opposite, and the out cropping is joy beyond comprehension (this side of heaven) directed toward God truly, clearly and dearly seen. He is our Good Shepherd, our dear Abba.
"…your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." --Matt 6:32-34
Keep waiting on the Lord faithfully, Scott. You are mourning; you don’t have to dance just yet. The Lord knows you love Him whether you cry or dance.
With love in Christ,
Amanda
Thanks scotty for your blog. Any words that I have to say seem trivial and worthless. Thanks for your faithfulness in sharing your hurt and how God is growing you though that. We love you.
Sooz and the zims.
One of the great things about what you did in Faith Builders is that you don't (and won't) know the extent of the impact that the Lord will have on those folks through your testimony. God is continually glorified by your life Scott. I know it's hard, I know it's painful, and I know I don't understand. But God does and He is teaching and using you in ways that you never thought possible... whether you realize that or not at times.
So helpful - all of these words! I am so grateful that you respond!
!!!!! :-) !!!!
I'm hearing you, Scotty. As previously mentioned, it doesn't go away, but it does get better. One thing to keep preeminently in mind--your beloved knew the Lord. A great reason for comfort and rejoicing in light of the alternative.
I do not at all think you need to be concerned about any sort of bifurcation between whether or not your sharing in FaithBuilders was for you or for the Lord. It seems to me that the Lord may not make that distinction as He is glorified and His grace is manifested through you--and to you by those around you.
Love you,
pjh
Hi my brother scott,
From all the past blogs even up to the present, I feel like I've gotten to know you so much better than ever before when we used to come and paint for you. I sense such a oneness with you in the Lord as I read how you desire to glorify Our kind Lord and God through all that has taken place.
I can only imagine how it must feel for you at this time. Debbie and I have been married since about the same time you and Jody got married and have by God's grace had the privelege of being with each other every day doing everything together as you know. To think how it would be for me if God said it was time for Debbie to come home, except but by God's grace it would be too much too bear. I could only hope, if the Lord does choose for that to happen, that I would strive to remember and put into practice the words of comfort that I try to offer Debbie when she talks of how difficult it would be if God took me home first. And as I share the words to you of what I say to my wife, It might (it might not) in some way be helpful to picture Jody saying something similar to you. I tell her something like this:
"If the Lord takes me home you have to remember that anything you loved about me if it was anything good or right or Godly etc. that it was really the Lord IN me that you loved so much. He may have used this body and personality but it was really Him loving you through this vessel. Without Him, I would be totally different. Though He takes this vessel away, He, the REAL gift, remains with you. He is not only the giver of good gifts - He IS the gift without which none of us are anything at all.
In that sense, Jody is still with you. or rather the love and kindness and goodness that God was bestowing upon you through her is still with you for Christ dwells IN you. Soon enough, you'll be with that sweet vessel again along with all God's saints while praising Him with joy unspeakable. Till then,Remember that the Gift, our Lord, continues as always loving you though your sweet Jody (a very appropriate name for her) though that sweet vessel is with our Lord.
Hear the words that God spoke to Isreal in Isaiah 41 where He says, "...thus says the Lord, Who created you, oh Jacob (Scott). And He Who formed you, oh Israel (Scott): Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name,you are Mine. Since you were precious in My sight, you have been honored and I have loved you. Fear not for I am with you."
Love you Brother, Gary and Debbie Painters.
Thank you for being such an example of faith and trust in God. May He continue to use you for His glory. Have a blessed Christmas!
The Bracketts in Croatia
Scott,
thinking of you and Jody alot today. Lifting up prayers that He would comfort you. I know you say the house feels empty but if thoughts and prayers were visible and tangible, your house would be overflowing. We send hugs and love to you this Christmas time Scott. Love, Kim & Darren.
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